Ching-chi-nining

Flight (Re-Post)

2011-12-19T08:06:00.000+08:00

"Insan, uwi ako jan. Pasundo naman airport o?", palambing kong sabi sa pinsan ko at kababatang si Tsongki.

"Ba't ako, magtaxi ka na lang", sabi ni Insan.

"Ah ganun pala, sige ka, di ko dadalhin yung pinadalang sapatos sa iyo ni Ate, bahala ka!", sabay tawa.

"Uy gusto ko nyan, ha ha ha. Text mo na lang flight details mo, Kuya."

Sa amin sa Davao, si Kenneth o Tsongki ang pinaka-close ko sa lahat ng pinsan ko. Dalawang taon lang ang tanda ko sa kanya, at halos kami na ang naging magkabarkada sa magpipi-pinsan. Kami yung sparring partners, ika nga. Loko lang kasi si Tsongki kasi nung grade 6, nahulihan ng tatay niyang may marijuana sa drawer, kaya hayun, tinawag na namin siyang "Tsongki".

Early flight ang kinuha ko papuntang Davao, just in time para sa opening nung convention namin sa may Downtown Davao. Estimated time of arrival, 7:55 am.

Nasa arrival area na ako nang tawagan ko si Tsongki. Parating na raw.

Maya-maya, eto na at nakita ko na rin ang kaniyang puting Corolla. "Kuya! Kuya! Sori antrapik sa may Bajada, senya na. Halika na!", nakangiti niyang paanyaya sa akin.

Dali-dali akong sumakay kaagad. "Tsong, pasensya ka na ha? Naabala pa kita. Naiisip ko lang kasing ikaw na sumalubong sa akin para maibigay ko na rin ang sapatos mo galing ke Ate. Para dobol purpose, hehehe" "Musta kayo ni Dindi?" Si Dindi ang asawa nya.

Di sya sumagot. Napansin ko ring may halong lungkot sa mukha ni Insan pero di na ako nagtanong. lagi namang mukhang problemado yun eh.

Pagdaan namin sa may Bajada, ang tindi nga pala ng traffic. Buti na lang, malapad ang kalye, at alam ni Tsongki ang mga side streets para maiwasan ang traffic.

Sa wakas, dumating na rin kami sa hotel.

"Sama ka muna dito, para makuha mo na sapatos. Hahalungkatin ko pa sa bagahe ko," pag-aaya ko kay Tsongki.

"Idaan mo na lang sa bahay mamya, nagmamadali din ako eh. Hintayin na lang kita dun", sabi nya.

"OK. salamat, mamaya na lang." sagot ko.

Mga alas sais na nang matapos ang ang convention namin. Punta agad ako sa room para magpalit ng damit at kunin ang sapatos ni Insang Tsongki.

Pumara ako ng taxi. "Manong, GSIS Matina 'ta."

Dumaan muna ako sa bahay nina Tita Rory, sa may ibaba, kaso walang tao. Sinabihan ko na lang na diretso na kami sa bandang itaas ng subdivision kung saan naroon ang bahay nila Tsongki

Napansin kong maliwanag sa kanila, at maraming tao. May party siguro, 'ika ko sa sarili.

Mali ako.

"Si Chingoy! Si Chingoy!", bulalas ni Tita Rory nang makita akong nakatayo sa may gate. Nakita ko rin ang asawa ni Insang Tsongki na si Dindi.

"Kuya", umiiyak niyang bati sa akin sabay yakap.

"Bakit, anong nangyari? Sino?", naguguluhan pa akong magtanong.

"Si Kenneth."

"Paano... Ano?.." di ko maituloy ang mga tanong ko.

"Kaninang umaga, papuntang airport. Ang alam ko, susunduin ka nya. Aksidente, sa may Bajada. May nag-overtake na trak. Head on collision. Dala nya yung puting Corolla." patuloy ang iyak nya habang nagsasalita.

Di ko naririnig ang kaniyang mga sinasabi.

*********************

Ito ay bilang paglahok sa pa-"contest" ni Gillboard.

Sa Aking Guro (Re-Post)

2011-12-19T08:02:00.000+08:00

Bata pa ako nung nakilala ko si Aling Geny. Nagtuturo sya sa elementarya nung mga panahong iyon. Kung di ako nagkakamali, Grade 3 ang hinahawakan niyang klase. Sa tuwing makikita ko sya sa umaga, humahangos sya papuntang kalsada, dala ang kanyang lumang bag na punong-puno ng mga aklat, lesson plan, chalk box at kung anu-ano pang abubot na madalas nating nakikitang nakapulupot o nakasakbit o kilik ng isang ordinaryong guro.

Sa mga nag-aral sa public school, matatandaang kung anu-anong kulay ng uniporme ng mga guro ang pinasusuot sa kanila noon; may olive green, may pink, may light brown... na ewan ko naman kung sino ang pumipili ng ganung mga kulay ng tela. Babagay siguro ito para sa mga mapuputi, ... subalit para kay Aling Geny na isang kayumagging nilalang, mukhang ang hirap bumagay sa kaniya ng ganitong klaseng kulay.

Minsang nakapag-usap kami ni Aling Geny; nasabi nya pagod na raw siya. Alam ko naman yun. Katulad ng karamihang sa mga guro sa amin, halos buwan-buwan nga, mistulang nakasanla na ang kanyang sweldo sa isang nagpapa-porsyento dun sa may lugar nila. Parang ang neto niyang tinatanggap sa isang buwan ay malaki na ang limang-daan. Masakit man ay napilitan siyang mangutang sa tindahan na katabi ng bahay nila. Kung hindi pandesal ay monay, pan de coco at kung anu-ano pang tinapay na pwedeng pantawid gutom lamang. Tuwing summer, nababanggit niya ang mga grupong PPSTA, MPSTA, Philam at iba pa. Eto pala ang mga organisasyong pwede siyang mag salary loan, emergency loan at kung anu-ano pang loans, just in time para sa enrollment ng mga anak niya. Alam ko rin na si Aling Geny lang ang bumubuhay sa kaniyang pamilya. Wala na rin kasing trabaho ang kaniyang asawa.

Bagamat madalas kaming nagkakasama ni Madam Geny (pronounced as Maaa-dam, ganyan tumawag ang isang estudyante sa kaniyang guro), nararamdaman ko rin ang pagiging atubili nya sa mga bagay-bagay. Dahil na rin siguro sa hirap ng buhay na siya lang ang pumapasan noong mga araw na iyon, kapansin-pansin ang lungkot sa kaniyang mata.

Magaling umawit si Madam . Iyung malimit niyang kantahin ay yung True Love ("i give to you and you give to me... true love, true love"). Magaling din siya sa Scrabble; mahilig mag-Bingo at ang favorite pastime nya ay yung ipaglaba ang mga anak nya.

Napakasipag ni Madam Geny. Nung kasagsagan ng kakulangan nila sa panggastos, literally, ginagawa niyang araw ang gabi. Suma-sideline siya hanggang alas dos nang umaga dun sa canteen ng kapatid nya.

Lumipas ang mga araw hanggang nag-retire na sya sa pagtuturo. Na-stroke kasi sya at nag 50-50, ika nga nila. Napilitang gamitin ang mga service credits at tuluyang tumigil sa pagta-trabaho. Nakita ko pa nga ung separation pay nya, naka tseke: Php 100,300. Imagine, matapos ang mahigit-kumulang 35 taon sa serbisyo, ganun lang ang makukuha? No wonder napipilitang mag DH yung ibang titser at iwan ang mga pamilya nila dito at alagaan ang ibang pamilya sa ibang bansa.

Pero iba si Madam Geny, kahit mahirap, nagtyaga siya dito sa Pinas. Nagtinda ng ginataang halo-halo, pakbet, at iba pang lutong bahay. Nagtayo rin sya ng maliit na tindahan sa harap ng bahay nila.

Hanggang isang araw, sa libing ng isa nyang kapatid, kinausap niya ako.

"Toy, parang may tumitibok sa may tiyan ko. Tanong mo nga sa mga kaibigan mong duktor," aniya.

Tinawagan ko agad yung kaibigan kong Cardiologist. "Ipa-confine mo agad," sabi ng kaibigan ko. "Ipa-ultrasound mo, pre, at wag mo nang pagalawin."

Pagkatapos ng mga tests, nalaman na aortic aneurism ang sakit ni Madam Geny. Lumobo ang isang major na ugat nya dahil sa chronic na mataas na presyon. Maaring pumutok anytime.

"Pre, delikado yan. Walking time bomb si Nanay Geny. Dapat ma-operahan."

Napaluha ako sa nalaman ko. Nasa peligro ang paborito kong titser.

Kinausap ko agad ang mga kakilala ko para madaliang mai-transfer ng ospital at ma-operahan si Madam Geny. Nai-skedyul naman agad ang procedure at maluwalhating natapos.

Yun ang akala ko.

Bumagsak ang katawan nya, nag-kidney failure at kailangang i-dialysis.

Dinala sa ICU.

Hanggang isang gabi, sunod-sunod na text at tawag ang aking natanggap...

Alam ko na...

Nobyembre 6, 2003

Wala na si Aling Geny, ang aking paboritong Madam; ang aking unang guro.

Wala na ang aking Mahal na Ina.

......................................................................................................................

Ito ay isang pagpupugay dahil bukas, January 3, ay ang kaniyang ika-79 na kaarawan.

Happy birthday 'Nay.

Mahal kita.

Di kita kinakalimutan.

Lagi kang nasa isip ko.

Salamat sa lahat ng pagtitis mo para mapag-aral kaming magkakapatid. Salamat sa iyong katatagan. Salamat dahil hanggang sa huli, kami pa rin ang inisip mo. Alam kong masaya ka sa iyong kinaroroonan. Dasal ko lagi, sana kami'y lagi mong bantayan.

Salamat sa Diyos at ikaw ang aking naging Ina.

Maraming Salamat.

******************************

Ito ay bilang paglahok sa pa-"contest" ni Gillboard

Dream Board (Re-Post)

2011-12-19T07:54:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my family had the great time doing our dream board. (You know, that board where we put/paste pictures that represent our dreams we want to fulfill in our lifetime.)

This project was long overdue. I have long planned doing this, but it was only yesterday that I finally told myself, I will finish this.

My daughter, Angela, was so excited cutting the pictures from the magazines. She had all sorts of wishes: from having a shoulder bag; to having sexy blue shirt; from having a big house; to having fine, long hair.

I was on my unusual contemplative self when Angela asked me, "Dad, what's your greatest wish?"

"That all my wishes would come true, Anak", I replied.

She laughed.
"Me, too", she said. Then she continued cutting and pasting pictures.

My answer to her question was so automatic, I need not think about giving a better answer. Or maybe, it's the best one. Perhaps.

Last week, I was listening to a friend. He told me that ALL our wishes, desires, wants: whatever we want to call them, are rooted to something painful; a "wound" that we experienced early on.

I just had to agree with him.

I wish for better finances; like almost anyone.

I have experienced humiliation due to financial lack when I was a kid, and because of this, I am working for financial freedom.

I wish for good family life.
I cannot say I had a good relationship with my DAD, and because of this, I am working on my relationship with my wife and kid. I SURE do falter; in a lot of times; but as the message of a good blog comrade reads, "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." (Maria Robinson)

I wish that I will be a vector to something that will help the needy.

And so much more...

I wish.

I have lots of dreams. Some fulfilled, some are still to be materialized. With the question that my daughter posed, I was struck with the reality that I have to strive harder for my remaining dreams to come true.

I believe in BIG dreams; they are free anyway. But the "so-called" reality check would pull me back to what is present. Baka masyado nang ambisyoso pag lumampas pa sa tama na...

Could it be that the reason why I'm still on a reach out is that there is this "struggle" that I am aiming too much, FOR too much?
Could it be that I am most comfortable to where I am now, that getting my dream would mean discomfort and pain?
Could it be....

I WISH to be ready for more fulfilled dreams.

I am ready for my BIG dreams coming true.

I know you are, too.

I wish that all your wishes would come true.

**********************************************
This is an entry to Gillboard's pacontest.

Your Prayers

2011-12-13T09:35:00.000+08:00

A Beechcraft plane with tail no. RPC 824 encountered a problem after taking off from the Manila domestic airport. One of the pilots had requested the Manila airport control tower for relanding, but the plane did not make it. The aircraft crashed in Parañaque City, on a Saturday afternoon (December 10, 2011).

It's hard to watch this clip, the pilot was a high school classmate of mine, Tammy Albo; may he rest in peace.

I ask you my friends to say a little prayer for him, as today, December 13, 2011, he will be laid to rest.

On Crying (Edited)

2011-12-12T15:27:00.001+08:00

One evening, Angela whispered something to me.
"Dad, Mommy is crying."

"Huh? Why?"

"I don't know, but she has tears."

I immediately approached my wife to ask her what was wrong. She said she's having difficulty feeding our new baby, and breastfeeding has become so painful for her (the baby was a week old then).

My heart bled for my wife. I wished I could help her more. I wished it was just I who could feel that pain.

Ako na lang sana ang nasasaktan.
Sana sa mga ganitong pagkakataon, may kakayahan tayong kunin ang sakit ng iba para di na sila masaktan.

We know how pain leads us to tears.

My mother's death led me to tears; lots of tears.
My first (busted) love was too painful for me; thus the tears.
The pain of being away with my family for three years was an agony for me, and I would find myself sobbing on my bed.
I almost even shed a tear for that painful weekly rise in gasoline price; well, almost.

MUSIC

I am a music person. I am easily moved by songs which reflect my state of emotion at that particular time.

I remember myself crying when I was singing "Natutulog Ba Ang Diyos". I thought "Man in the Mirror" was the best song with the best message. I love listening to Bukas Palad Music and the Madz while doing my reflections, and the soothing melody and the wonderful message of the songs bring me to a tear or two.

MOVIES

I guess everyone cries in at least a movie in his lifetime. I cried in an ample of them.

I love "Deep Impact". When I first saw it in the moviehouse, it seemed like an ordinary disaster movie, but when I caught its rerun over HBO, those final scenes really, really moved me.

It was understandable for me to shed a tear or two while watching "Pay It Forward", "Patch Adams", "Passion of the Christ"; but surprisingly, "Kung Ako na lang Sana" and "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" moved me as well.

REGRET

I have blogged about this before, when tears caught up with me after I saw my daughter cry because of my harsh words.

All I can say is, it is OK to cry. There is no truth to label that "Men don't cry". Of course we do. Because we are humans.

Crying for me is a gift; where you and I can experience that joy of "unburdening that pain" or "expressing that happiness", through some release of that so-called tears.

It is OK to cry. It is ALWAYS OK to cry. For as long as after the crying, there is this newly found energy to move forward, reactivate that positive new self in us, create a new path to inspire, so that we too, can listen and be a shoulder to lean on, for someone to needs to cry.

Hindi naman ako iyakin, but I can probably say I have cried a lot in this lifetime.

Kayo, kelan kayo huling umiyak?

Ako, kanina....

Nang makita ko ito.

This post is an entry to Gasul's blogversary Writing Contest.

My Beloved

2011-08-20T13:37:00.000+08:00

Tutuy@7months

Hello Earth?

2011-08-20T13:22:00.000+08:00

Kanina lang:

Di ko makita ang celfon ko, akala ko naiwan ko sa bahay (nahulog lang pala sa upuan ng sasakyan).
Pinakiusapan kong tawagan ni wifey si Ate Richel na hanapin sa bahay ang cp.

Malamang para makita, ni-ring nya ang cp ko.
Syempre, katabi ko pala ang cp, sabay sinagot ko.

Me: "O, bakit?"
Richel: "KUYA, DI KO PO MAKITA CELLPHONE NYO TALAGA. WALA PO DITO SA BAHAY..."

The Nod

2011-07-30T11:26:00.001+08:00

I just received the news that....

I got the Chef's much coveted nod over this....

Fish En Papillote with Bearnaise Sauce and Turkish Pilaf

It was a long but rewarding day for me....

I needed some comfort food....

Homemade Strawberry Cheesecake

So far, so good....

Angelaism 2011.whatever

2011-07-24T18:38:00.001+08:00

Angela: Dad, what is an institution?
Me: (explains...)
Angela: What is sacramental?
Me: (explains)
Angela: What is transfiguration?
Me: (gulps, then explains)
Angela: What is paschal?
Me: Ang hirap naman... It is something that you will learn in school.
Angela: So, does that mean I will not have to ask you anymore?
Me: *poker-faced

Nagbabagang Balita II

2011-06-13T12:33:00.003+08:00

May dayunyor na ako in October!!!

Tamang Toms

2011-05-25T09:18:00.000+08:00

Image from Mr. Google

Tanda n'yo ba ang usapang lasheng na ito?

Ang kahulugan ng bote ng San Miguel, sa mata ng mga may tama... :D

SAN MIGUEL: Sa Aming Nayon, May Isang Grupong Uminom. E, Lasing.

PALE PILSEN: Pati Ako, Lasing. E, P***ng Ina, Lasing Sila. Eto’ng Nangyari…

EXPERTLY BREWED: Erbi, Ekis, Pinaghalo. E, Rindi! Talagang Laklakan Yan Bawat Round. E, Wala. E, Di…(Note for those not old enough to remember: erbi is reverse slang for beer; ekis or X is shorthand for Madrax, a cheap potion that’s most likely prescribed by the Dangerous Drugs Board.)

AND BOTTLED BY: At noon Din, Bawat Order, Tuloy-Tuloy. Lasing, E. Dumampot. Buti Yelo.

SAN MIGUEL BREWERY: Sapagkat Ang Nangyari, May Isang Gagong Umentra. E, Lasing. Banatan, Rumble. E, Wasak. E, Rumesbak. Yari.

PHILIPPINES: Pati Hostess, Inupakan. Lasing, Inupakan. Pati Pulis, Inupakan. Nahuli, Engot Siya.

NET CONTENTS: Ngunit Etong Tarantadong Constable, Okey. Nag-Trip. E, Naging Trip Sauna.

320 ML: 320, Masahe Lang.

Thanks to Philippine Star... (Ricky Lo at Pete Lacaba)

PARA KAY GLENTOT

2011-05-19T09:14:00.000+08:00

Maligayang Bati sa iyo, IDOL. Isa ka sa dahilan kung bakit ako bumalik sa pagsusulat. Salamat sa inspirasyon.

Here and Now

2011-04-28T15:37:00.001+08:00

Wow, seems like it's been ages since my last post.

Two months; and so much had happened.

Much had to do with schooling. Yup! Angela and I are in school right now. She is into Theater, and I, into Culinary.

It took me a while before I had decided which school to enroll in; the major consideration being the financial part of it.

Finishing a course in Culinary is one of my goals for this year; in fact, I have actually written in my small booklet that "I have finished my Culinary Arts Course in December of 2011". True enough, with Big Bro's help, I would have finished everything by December. This will be another chapter for me that I know I will enjoy.

I used to say then that I will be happy if I will have this; if I will be able to do that; that if I have this particular achievement, I will be considered a success.

Until I came to a realization, that what lies "beyond today" should not be the gauge for my happiness; that my being happy does not depend on what I "will have", but rather on what I "already have". Most of the times, we are in a situation of too much discontent, that we become blind to see that what we have now is already enough.

Sometimes, I wonder what it is feels to always have this much money in my pocket; and in so doing, I feel bad that I only have so much. And during these times, I am awaken by the reality that surely, it is better to have more in the future but what I have today is sufficient for me to enjoy my life.

I have my life, which I am very thankful for everyday; I have my family who loves me dearly; I have my friends, who are supportive of my dreams. I have my talents; and I have my dreams that God has planted in my heart. All these are more than enough for me to enjoy life; for me to breathe in the happiness.

I have long decided that happiness should never be a product enjoyable in the future; but it is something I choose to have in the present, for me to become a better husband, father, friend and a Chef in the future.

Nagbabagang Balita

2011-02-26T15:31:00.001+08:00

Pagkatapos ng mahabang paghihintay.....

Magkakaroon na ng kapatid si Angela.....

Angela-ism 2011.1: R-18 Coversations

2011-02-14T12:20:00.001+08:00

Sometime in the car:

Angela: "Dad, di ba girls have pepe? What do boys have?"

Me: "Penis, Anak." Ninenerbyos na ako...

Angela: "You also sit down when you wiwi?"

Me: "No. Stand lang."

Angela: "Why?"

Me: "We're home!" Thank you Lord.

*******************************************************

Angela: "Dad, di ba there are two kinds of utot?"

Me: "Huh? Isa lang."

Angela: "No! There's utot from the pwet and utot from the pepe."

Me: "Oh." HELP Tita Powkie, Tita Ayie, Tita Roanne...

Mga 'igan, don't forget the pic greet! send lang sa kafferazzo@yahoo.com

26 Feb ang deadline. Thanks!

Gimme gimme

2011-02-07T03:28:00.001+08:00

Malapit na bertdey ko, at dahil mahilig akong manggaya ay hihingi na rin ako ng PICTURE GREETING mula sa inyo.

Deadline for submission of entries is on February 26.

Send na sa kafferazzo@yahoo.com.

NOW NA! PLEASE? :)

Listen Or Else

2011-01-29T12:00:00.006+08:00

Paper Soap

2011-01-28T06:50:00.000+08:00

January 25, 2011

I made someone cry this evening. She was my daughter, Angela.
..................................................................................

Almost every night, Angela would be visited by her best friend/neighbour Samantha, and they would play around the house.

Earlier this evening, they saw these paper soaps. They immediately went inside our room, bringing these with them, along with a bucket full of water.

I then noticed the wet floor, with the soaps all scattered all over. The floor was a big mess.

I instantly called their attention. With a raised voice, I asked them what they were doing with the soap and water in the room.

“It’s Angela, Tito. She scattered the soap”, answered Samantha. Knowing that I would scold Angela anytime and I didn’t want Sam to see my anger, I asked Sam to go back to their house.

After Sam left, I immediately let out my anger. “Angela! What are you doing? Di yan laruan! Binasa mo pa ang higaan!,” I yelled at her.
“Lugar ko yang binasa mo! Diyan ka matutulog sa basang parte mamaya!” I was fuming mad.

She cannot speak. She knew I was very angry.

“Punasan mo yan, linisin mo yan!” I was yelling to a five year old child.
She tried to yell to vent out her frustration. When she was about to shout, I interrupted her.

“Sumigaw ka ngayon, sumigaw ka ngayon na!”

She cannot speak anymore.

With her hanky on her little left hand, she bowed down. She tried wiping the floor. With her right hand, she started picking up the scattered paper soaps.

She was crying.

On seeing this, I just realized what I did was wrong! I ran towards her, I embraced her right away. It was a hug of apology. I was so sorry for what I did.

When I hugged her, she even sobbed some more. She was saying “I’m sorry Daddy, I will not do it again.... I’m so sorry”, and she sobbed and it tore my heart.
I cannot even remember if I said “I’m sorry” to Angela. I just hugged her tight.

After the incident, we went to bed.
I could not go to sleep.
I just felt so guilty of what I did to my daughter.

..................................................................................

I made someone cry this evening.
I made my Angela cry.

And then I felt the tears were flowing down my cheeks.
I, too, was crying.

2011

2010-12-30T14:29:00.000+08:00

THIS 2011....

crede quod habes, et habes
(Believe that you have it, and you do)

A Prosperous New Year To All of Us!

Christmas Greeting

2010-12-24T14:15:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas to All...

Peace, Love and More Great Blessings for Us!!!

Update Lang

2010-12-21T15:19:00.000+08:00

Been busy lately...

Eto muna ang pictures...

Naging part kami ng Kerygma Conference sa PICC lately

Angela sang at the PICC (proud Dad)

May Mega-Surprise Party kami for my Mother-in-Law, I was the Punong-Abala

Weekend at CWC/Caramoan with Family

Wakeboarding Briefing (kuno)

Angela at her finest

Chingoy at his "finest" LOLS

Knee-boarding

Best-ever pinangat at GEEWAN

Pityur-pityur.....

Seeing for the Very First Time

2010-12-08T23:02:00.000+08:00

belongs to my TOP 10 Best Songs of ALL TIME

Seeing for the Very First Time
Michael Ruff

Is that your smile, or is that sunlight through the trees
Was that your sigh, or just a gentle breeze
Are these your lips, or rolling waves upon the sea
Is this a dream, or can it be,
That I'm seeing for the very first time
The rustling leaves, they bring your laughter all around
The dancing wind, feet barely touching down
Is this a song,or nature's perfect melody
Is this a dream, or can it be,
That I'm seeing for the very first time.
Time is on our side
And a seed planted in love will grow
We are each a part of everything and everyone
Was that my heart, or is there thunder with this rain
Was that a spark, or did you touch me once again
Are those my eyes, or are you looking back at me
Is this a miracle, can it be true
That it's possible to make one heart of two
It's not a dream
I do believe, that I'm....
Seeing for the very first time.

Happy 6th Anniversary...

Stop, Look and Listen

2010-11-30T13:51:00.001+08:00

click me >>>

Nitong mga nakaraang araw, dala na rin ng mga sunud-sunod na pangyayari sa buhay-buhay, ang pakiramdam ko, isang milagro na lang makakapagbago ng lahat.

Yun bang, kakatapos pa lang ayusin ng isang problema, mayroon na namang bagong darating... di na matapos-tapos.

Yun bang pagkatapos kong magdasal ng "Lord, gawin mo akong peaceful sa pagharap ko sa mga pagsubok ha?", eh ayan na naman at may isang bagay na naman akong haharapin.

Ang dasal ko na lang, isang glaring miracle para matapos na.

Hanggang narinig ko ang mga salitang ito mula sa isang kaibigan;

Na sa mga sandaling nararamdaman kong ito na ang pinakamatinding pagsubok sa buhay, ay mas maging masaya ako, dahil iyon ang sandaling inaaalalayan ako ni Big Bro.
Madalas kasi, when I am at my lowest, it is so easy to just stop; and to look for that something positive about the situation, and to listen to my heart, that I still can, seem to be so difficult.

Andami kong hinihiling na miracles, when from the start, He has already equipped me with so much; all I need is to see is that I am swimming in the ocean of miracles, and those miracles include ME.

Home

2010-11-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

click >>>

Sometimes, in the midst of it all, no matter how much positivism I have imbibed, I would still long to be comforted by my home. Home is really where my heart is.

What happened recently really did come as a surprise; and it also gave me a strong message; that "delay doesn't mean denial."

My dream maybe delayed, but it will never be denied.

The Bomb

2010-11-09T14:45:00.000+08:00

Last Thursday, bumagsak na ang bomba.
May nakabili na ng buong property na kinatitirikan ng mumunting kapihan ko.

We are given only till December to vacate the place.

Magulo pa rin ang isip ko. Kasi, kung kailan naman nagiging maayos na ang lahat...
Malaking tulong sa aking pagtatanong ang mensahe sa akin ng isang kaibigan:

"What seems to be a burden today, will be a BLESSING tomorrow."

angela-ism 2010.7

2010-10-16T15:34:00.002+08:00

This afternoon:

Me: "Angela, why is it?"

Angela: "Why is it what?"

Me: "That I am so pogi?"

Angela: "Hahahaha!!!"

Me: "Why are you laughing?"

Angela: "Because it's funny!"

Me: "Why is it funny?"

Angela: "Because it's a joke!"

Me: *poker faced

Forevermore

2010-10-14T14:51:00.000+08:00

"Bespren, bahala ka na muna kay Darlene ha?", bilin ni Carlo sa akin. "Pakihatid na lang."

Tumingin siya kay Darlene.

"Darl, si Bespren na bahala sa 'yo. Wag ka na malungkot. One week lang ako", sabay halik sa pisngi ng girlfriend.

Nasa oto lang ako, nagmamasid sa kanila.

Habang papasok ng Davao Airport building si Carlo, nakita kong nagpapahid ng luha si Darlene.
Mahal niya talaga ang Bespren ko. Swerte ni Carlo.

"Miss, halika na", aya ko kay Darlene. Nakagawian ko ng "Miss" ang itawag ko sa girlfriend ng Bespren ko. .

Sumakay na ng oto si Darlene. Namumula pa rin ang mata.

"You ok?", tanong ko sa kanya.
Tahimik lang siya. Tuloy ang agos ng luha niya.
Kinuha ko ang tissue at inabutan ko sa kaniya. Nagtagpo ang mga kamay namin.

"Chingoy, totoo ba ang sinabi ni Melba?--- na may ibang girlfriend na si Carlo sa Manila--- at ikakasal na sila?"
.................................................

Unang pinakilala sa akin ni Carlo si Darlene noong birthday party ko. Tanda ko pa ang suot nya; puting blouse at khaki pants. Tahimik siya noong una; pero dahil siguro alam niyang close friends lang namin ang mga nanduon, nakuha na rin niyang makisabay sa mga kakulitan namin. Nalaman kong sa isang kilalang hotel siya nagtatrabaho. Panganay siya sa tatlong magkakapatid. Mahilig siyang magluto at paborito niya ang kare-kare.

Habang lumalalim ang gabing iyon, parang may mumunting kirot akong nararamdaman para sa magandang dilag na ito.

Alam ko kasing walang patutungunhan ang relasyon nila ni Bespren.

Alam kong ikakasal na si Carlo.

...........................................................

Ilang beses pa kaming nagkita ni Darlene. Sa sarili ko, alam kong "click" kaming dalawa. Dangan nga lamang at girlfriend sya ng Bespren ko.

Hanggang isang araw, nag-usap kami ni Bespren.

"Bespren, wag mong lokohin si Darlene", seryoso kong simula.

"Oo naman, ang hirap nga eh. Alam mo naman....," bitin niyang sagot. "Alam kong may gusto ka sa kanya, Chingoy, aminin mo", dagdag niya.

Di ako sumagot.

"Matagal ko nang alam, bro.Tatapusin ko rin ito, malapit na." Ngumiti siya sa akin at lumakad palayo.

.............................................................

May convention sa Manila sina Carlo, at isasabay na rin niya na asikasuhin ang ibang mga bagay tungkol sa kasal nila ni Aileen.

"Bro, pahatid naman sa airport. Sabay si Darlene ha?"

"Ok", sabi ko. Dinaanan namin si Darlene sa opis nila, at ako ang driver nila patungong airport.

Napansin kong tahimik silang dalawa sa oto. Very unusual ito sa kanila. Di naman pwedeng nahihiya sila sa akin.

Baka nag-away...

Ibinibaba ko sila sa may departure area. Habang naghihintay, isinalang ko ang aking paboritong CD ng Side A.

There are times when I just want to look at your face

With the stars in the night

There are times when I just want to feel your embrace

In the cold of the night

I just can't believe that you are mine now.

Ninanamnam ko pa ang mga mga letra nang dumungaw si Carlo sa bintana ng oto.

"Bespren, bahala ka na muna kay Darlene ha?", bilin ni Carlo sa akin. "Pakihatid na lang."

Tumingin siya kay Darlene.

"Darl, si Bespren na bahala sa 'yo. Wag ka na malungkot. One week lang ako", sabay halik sa pisngi ng girlfriend.

Nasa oto lang ako, nagmamasid sa kanila.

Habang papasok ng Davao Airport building si Carlo, nakita kong nagpapahid ng luha si Darlene.
Mahal niya talaga ang Bespren ko. Swerte ni Carlo.

"Miss, halika na", aya ko kay Darlene. .

Sumakay na ng oto si Darlene. Namumula pa rin ang mata.

"You ok?", tanong ko sa kanya.
Tahimik lang siya. Tuloy ang agos ng luha niya.
Kinuha ko ang tissue at inabutan ko sa kaniya. Nagtagpo ang mga kamay namin.

"Chingoy, totoo ba ang sinabi ni Melba?--- na may ibang girlfriend na si Carlo sa Manila--- at ikakasal na sila?"

Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. Bakit ako ang tinatanong niya ngayon? Driver lang akong napakiusapan ni Carlo?

Tahinik lang akong nagmaneho.

"Goy, sabihin mo na." Tuloy pa rin ang agos ng luha niya.

You are just a dream that I once knew

I never thought I would be right for you

I just can't compare you with anything in this world

You're all I need to be with

Forevermore...

Sumagot ako. "Oo, totoo."

Honor and Excellence

2010-10-10T16:01:00.000+08:00

Have you seen this video?

This is my take:

That no matter where we are; no matter where we choose to be;
for as long as we do what is best for our family, notwithstanding the pain and agony and the severe longing to the embraces of our loved ones;
for as long as we keep reminding ourselves that our mission is not only to live for ourselves but to live for others;
for as long as we are doing what is fair and just;
for as long as keep that fire of being a Filipino....

then we are part of the solution, and not the problem.

And we bring honor and excellence and dignity and integrity not just to ourselves but most especially, to our Country.

September 26, 2009 Revisited

2010-10-05T14:24:00.000+08:00

Marami nang nasabi (at nasulat) tungkol sa Ondoy. Gaya ng karamihan, ako at ang aking pamilya ay nakaranas din ng inconvenience mula sa matinding baha dulot ng bagyong ito.

Kaninang umaga lang, narinig ko sa radyo na tayo'y pinaghahanda ng PAGASA dahil baka magkaroon ng pagbaha dulot ng nakaambang La Nina.

Gusto kong i-share sa inyo kung ano ang naranasan namin ng Sabadong iyon ng Setyembre 26, 2009. Let the pictures speak for themselves.

Ang unit na ito ay nasa harap ng bahay kung saan kami tumutuloy (kinunan ko ito mula sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay)


Ganito kataas ang tubig noon sa compound. Wala nang first floor.

Isa pang shot.

Eto ang entrance ng compound. Ang may berdeng bubong ay ang guard house. Mapapansin din ang bakod na brown ang pintura. Bukas ang gate nang mga oras na ito.

Isa pang shot.

Noong Ondoy, lubog ang pader. Mapapansing kita na lang ang itaas na parte ng (brown) gate.

Wala ang pati ang itaas na parte ng brown gate.

Nawa'y di na muling mangyari ang sakunang ganito.

angelaism 2010.6 (The R-18 Conversations, and some more)

2010-09-25T13:40:00.001+08:00

This morning...

wifey: "Angela, stop saying the words pepe, pwet, wiwi and pupu. They are not funny anymore."

"Sige ka, magiging mukhang pepe ka na."

Angela: "Hahaha, that's funny! A face with a line from the forehead to the chin. Hahaha!"

wifey: *poker-faced

*****************************

One time, in the car...

me to wifey: "Hun, mukhang si Cecille (my 16 year-old inaanak) , in love na."

Angela, 5 years old, butting in: "Ano yun Daddy, nakakita na ba siya ng lalaking magmamahal sa kanya?"

me: *started praying....

*****************************

Tita Yogi: "Angela, where do you sleep? Do you have your own bed already?"

Angela: "No. I sleep in the middle of Mommy and Daddy. But sometimes, Daddy wants Mommy to stay in the middle."

(Everyone laughs)

Angela: "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?"

********************************

while in the pool...

Angela: "Dad, I'm gonna teach you how to swim."

me: "Ok, teach me."

Angela: "First, you have to walk (towards) the edge of the pool, then, when you're near, you swim."

me: "UH, ok."

*****************************

JUDD (ANGELA'S KABABATA) talking to his MOMMY:

"Angela is my crush but let's keep it a SECRET. I don't want her to know coz I might fall in love with her, and if I fall in love with her, I will marry her. If I marry her I will leave you Mommy, and I don't want to leave you (teary eyed)"

JUDO IS 4 YEARS OLD.

*********************************

Angela, reading her book: "Dad, I wanna hear my red CD please."

me: "Where is it?"

Angela, still reading: "Daddy, sometimes, someone forgets where (she) placed (her) things... and that (person) IS me."

me: "Uh, ok."

Four Nine Zero

2010-09-23T14:26:00.000+08:00

Why is it that the person you love the most could hurt you the most? And why is it, that to accept that person's apology, is so difficult?

Just recently, a person really close to me hurt me.
I sulked. I whined.

How could someone I truly cared about bring me so much pain?

Our common friend asked me, "What if ****** apologizes, will you accept?"

Would I, given the gravity of the pain?

I am a relationship person. I treasure my relationships with my family and friends. I keep communications open with my old pals in school, former office mates; even to my former clients.

But the recent rift between me and my friend made me think, and rethink, about my dealings with the people I love. This is the price, I have learned, that I have to pay; that it is so easy going into new relationships; but to keep a relationship going, if I choose to, then I have to start with forgiveness.

Forgiveness, after all, is more than giving peace of mind to the one saying sorry.

IT IS about me, being kind to myself.

*490- The Good Book says forgive others, not seven times, but seventy times seven...

Dream Board

2010-09-20T15:11:00.003+08:00

Filipino WHAT???

2010-09-15T17:14:00.001+08:00

I still cannot understand why the word "ejaculator" was used in this news item... A milder word perhaps? Any better term in mind?

Filipino 'ejaculator' says he didn’t do it

By Steve Angeles, ABS-CBN North America Bureau

Posted at 09/15/2010 12:01 PM | Updated as of 09/15/2010 1:17 PM

SANTA ANA, California – A Filipino American accused of ejaculating into a female co-worker’s water bottle pleaded not guilty to all charges against him in a court appearance Tuesday (Wednesday in Manila).

Michael Kevin Lallana, 31, arrived at the Santa Ana Central Justice Center with his lawyer, Eduardo Madrid.

Lallana refused to comment on the case. Police arrested him last month for allegedly ejaculating into the victim’s water bottle at work on two separate occasions.

The victim, a co-worker, said she felt sick after drinking from the water bottle. Lab tests later confirmed that the water bottle contained semen.

Both parties would not confirm if there was an existing or previous relationship, nor if there were past incidences of harassment.

Lallana, who is a married man, now faces six misdemeanor charges, which include depositing offensive substances and assault. The victim who was at the arraignment refuses to reveal her name to the public.

Celebrity defense lawyer Gloria Allred, who represents the victim, said the victim is still traumatized.

“While the victim in this case is horrified and disgusted and emotionally traumatized by what she was forced to suffer by the perpetrator of the crimes against her, she is nevertheless, willing to cooperate and be a witness in this case if it is necessary to do so,” Allred told reporters after the arraignment.

The judge also issued a restraining order that barred Lallana from coming within 100 yards of the victim or her property. The 31-year-old was immediately fired from his job as a Field Director for Northwestern Mutual Mortgage.

Lallana’s pretrial is scheduled for October 14 and a jury trial is set for November 9. If convicted, he can face as much as 3 years of prison and must register as a sex offender.

www.ABS-CBNNEWS.com

For ABS-CBN, Six to 16 Years of Service to the Company Does Not Seem to Matter - Bulatlat

2010-09-13T10:26:00.000+08:00

For ABS-CBN, Six to 16 Years of Service to the Company Does Not Seem to Matter - Bulatlat

In the Service of the Filipino...

Panig sa Katotohanan, Panig sa Pagbangon ng Bayan.

At The Coffee Shop

2010-09-09T14:09:00.004+08:00

Customer: "Isang Mocha Frap please."

Prepare ni Staff.
Serve ni Staff.

Customer: "Ay, bakit malamig?"

Tumbling si Staff. :)

*************************************

Pretty Customer: "Ano pong mabilis na Rice Meal nyo?"

Me: "Ma'am, try nyo po ang aming Chicken Pork Adobo. Mabilis lang po yun."

Pretty Customer: "Ah, yun po bang Chicken Pork Adobo nyo ay... ADOBO po ba yun?"

Me (nag-iisip, sabay ngiti): "(Actually, Kare-kare po talaga yan, Adobo lang tawag namin.)" (Keeps the smile.)

*************************************

Customer: "I want sinigang. Give me sinigang."

Me: "Sorry Mam, we don't serve sinigang here. We only have Mongolian, Pork Chop, Chicken Fillet." And of course, coffee."

Customer: "I don't want any of those, give me sinigang!"

Me: "Sorry Ma'am, we don't have it."

Customer: "Why not?"

Me: "Coz we don't have it. I think they have Sinigang over there." (pointing to the other resto)

Customer: "Ok, just give me rice."

Me: "Sorry Ma'am, we only serve rice with viand."

Customer: "I just want rice! Give me rice!"

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

(I ended up serving bangsilog, and she only ate the RICE!)

***************************************

Customer: "Isang Choco Cheesecake po."

Prepare ni Staff.
Serve ni Staff.

Customer: "Ay, bakit kape? Akala ko CAKE!"

Tumbling na naman si Staff. :)

**************************************

Headache

2010-09-08T11:52:00.003+08:00

I had the worst headache last night. It was a throbbing pain. I can feel the pulsating pain all over my face; at the base of my neck, my temple; even my lips. That was the kind of pain I felt last night.

I had to literally dip my head in cold water. I was having a rapid heartbeat. My face was hot yet my body felt cold.

I had to ask my wife to massage my head. The relief, though temporary, helped me go to sleep.

Until around 2am, I felt it all again. My pain threshold is high yet this one was too much for me to handle. I got up and switched on the light. It was a blinding light! My eyes were so sensitive I had to cover them with my hands, as if I was crying.

I couldn't go back to sleep anymore. I was awake 'til 5am sitting on the couch, wanting to sleep but this headache kept its duty.

Until I realized the culprit. So this is the other side-effect of that f*%^ing BLUE pill! Never again! Argh!

Thanks Tongues

2010-09-03T11:00:00.000+08:00

Pagkatapos mag speaking in tongues ni dom...

Pagkatapos magka-chikinini at i-tongue si maldito...

Pagkatapos bigyan ng proof ni pokwang ang lakas ng tongue...

Pagkatapos makapanood ng live dirty dancing with tongue-ing si mommy...

Ayan na at mape-persona non grata si Gloria Diaz sa Cebu dahil sa kanyang sharp tongue! Kasi naman...

Juice

2010-09-02T13:07:00.009+08:00

Nakakailang minuto pa lang ako sa ang aking pagkakaidlip nang gisingin ako ng bunso naming si Jong.

"Kuya, kausapin ka raw ni Doc."

Pupungas-pungas pa ako nang makita ko si Dr. Yam. Barkada ko sya nung nasa kolehiyo kami.

"O, Dok, balita?", sabi ko.

"Pede nang alisin ang tubo kay Nanay, baka bukas nang umaga pwede na", sabay tingin niya sa Nanay kong nasa kama.

Nakita kong ngumiti ang Inay, kahit bahagya. Di ko rin naman masisising di siya matuwa. Matagal-tagal na rin siyang nasa ospital, may isang buwan na. Hanggang last week na nagkaroon siya ng kumplikasyon, kinailangang lagyan siya ng tubo sa lalamunan. Dun pinapadaan ang pagkain nya; at di rin siya makausap. Kinakailangan pang gumamit ng white board at marker para lang maisulat niya ang gusto niyang sabihin.

"Narinig n'yo yun, 'Nay?"

"Mga a day or two, pwede nyo na siyang pakainin, pero soft diet lang. Unti-unti lang Brod," sabat ni Dr. Yam.

"Salamat Yam."
"Ano gusto niyong bilhin ko para sa inyo 'Nay?", sabay abot sa kanya ng white board at pentel pen.

"MALAMIG NA MALAMIG NA BUKO JUS, CAKE", sulat nya na nanginginig pa ang kamay.

Ang ganda ng ngiti ng Nanay ko. Noon ko lang siya nakitang ngumiti nang ganun. Tinitigan niya kami ni Jong. Ngumiti ulit.

"Pre, alis na ako, rounds pa ako", paalam ni Dr. Yam.

"Teka, sabay na ako. Daan lang ako ng grocery at Goldilocks," sagot ko. "Jong, ang Nanay ha?"

Ang saya-saya ng pakiramdam na pagkatapos ng isang buwan ni Nanay sa ospital, ay makakalabas na rin siya sa wakas.
"Lord, salamat talaga," ang tangi ko na lang nababanggit.

Pagkagaling ko sa grocery, dumaan ako sa Goldilocks para bumili ng Brazo de Mercedes, tapos diretso na sa ospital.

Nasa may pintuan pa lang ako room niya nang may naririnig akong may nagkakantahan sa loob.

"Alam na nila," sa isip isip ko. Nakangiti akong pumasok.

Nakita ko agad sina Tia Conching at Tia Leng na kumakanta, habang nagigitara si Uncle Pan. Si Lolo at Lola naman ay nasa sofa at pilit na sumasabay sa kantang paborito ng Nanay. Tulog na tulog si Jong sa kabilang sofa.

I give to you and you give to me
True love, true love

Ang ganda ng blending. Nangingilid ang luha ko.

Tumingin ako sa Inay. Nagpanagpo ang mga mata namin. Nakita kong may luha sa mga mata ni Inay; alam kong luha ng kaligayahan.

Di ko napigilang umiyak. Ewan ko, di naman ako iyakin, pero noong mga sandaling yun, parang nag-uumapaw ang emosyon sa akin.

Ibinaba ko ang mga binili ko. Lumapit ako sa kanya.

"Mahal kita, 'Nay. Ibinili kita ng Buko Juice at Brazo". Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. Pinisil niya ang mga kamay ko.

Tuloy pa rin silang kumakanta.

For you and I have a guardian angel,
On high, with nothing to do...

Lumabas ako kwartong tuloy ang agos ng mga luha ko.

Hanggang sa pahina nang pahina ang kantahan.

Hanggang wala na.

Tahimik na.

Wala na si Inay. Nasundo na siya.

To My Angel

2010-08-24T14:35:00.001+08:00

Dear Angela,

Happy Birthday, Anak.

Mahal ka ni Daddy at Mommy.
Yan ang pakakatandaan mo.

Yung usapan natin, na pagdating ng 5th birthday mo, di na kita bubuhatin kasi ambigat mo na... baka di ko matupad; basta kaya ko pa anak, bubuhatin kita, hangga't gusto mo pang magpakarga, kakayanin ko. Wag lang pag sisenta na ako, o kaya'y bente tres ka na, eh magpapakarga ka pa, utang na loob, hehehe...

Lagi kitang sasabihang maganda kang bata; maganda kang nilalang.... dahil gusto kong sa pamilya mo pa lang, busog ka na ng papuri at lakas ng loob... nang sa gayon ay hindi ka madala sa mga matatamis na salita ng mga manliligaw mo.

Lagi kong ipapaalala sa iyo, na masarap mabuhay. Sana'y maging makabuluhan ang pagtahak mo sa buhay mo tangan ang mga values na matutunan mo sa amin na mga nagmamahal sa iyo. Maging wa-is ka sa mga desisyon mo. Matuto ka sa mga kamalian ko at ng ibang tao.

Wag kang magsawang magmahal, lalo na sa iyong sarili. Nawa'y mag-umapaw ang pag-ibig sa puso mo. Wag kang mabuhay sa galit, inggit at paghihiganti. Matuto kang magpatawad. Matuto kang magtiwala na magiging maganda ang lahat.

Tingan mo ang maganda sa lahat ng bagay. Wag kang mabuhay na nakikita ang dumi at mali, bagkus, i-highlight mo ang mabuting kahihinatnan ng lahat.

Lahat ng problema ay may solusyon. Pag walang solusyon yan, di yan problema; pag ganun, wag mo nang isipin.

Rumespeto ka sa lahat ng tao. Lahat, Anak, lahat....

Ang pera ay di masama, at hindi rin ito nagpapasama. Hawakan mo ito ng tama, at wag mong kalimutang mag-share ng blessings sa iba.

Sana malaman mo nang maaga ang misyon mo sa mundong ito. Kung ano man ang gusto mong gawin sa buhay mo... maging duktor, nars, tindera o kung anupaman, wag mo lang kalimutang mahal ka namin at kasama mo kami sa iyong tagumpay.

Kung mangangarap ka anak, yung matayog... OKS lang yan. Libre naman ang mangarap eh. Sige lang. Sasamahan ka namin sa pag-abot mo ng dreams mo.

Wag kang makakalimot magdasal. Tanggapin mong may mga limitasyon ka, pero ang katapat nyan at tiwala sa Diyos at tiwala sa sarili.

May mga pagkakataong masasaktan ka... OKs lang na umiyak, at maging malungkot... Pero piliin mong bumangon kaagad, at maging masaya. Tandaan mo, happiness is a choice.

Sa lahat ng ito, ang panalangin ko para sa iyo, ay maging matatag ka sa hamon ng buhay, at makamit mo ang mga pangarap mo para maging blessing ka sa iba.

Nasabi ko na bang mahal ka namin ng Mommy mo?

Para sa Aking Mga Kaibigang OFW

2010-08-14T10:59:00.003+08:00

para sa inyo ito...

malapit na tayong magkita...

di ko kayo kayang isa-isahin...

pakinggan nyo na lang ang mensahe sa pamamagitan ng awit na ito...

MAHAL KO KAYO...

Credits: Martin Nievera/Louie Ocampo/GMA Records

BEE ARE BEE (brb)

2010-06-23T13:26:00.001+08:00

hanggang sa muli.....

angela-ism 2010.5

2010-06-21T09:36:00.003+08:00

I saw Angela playing with her battery-operated food processor. "Daddy, I will prepare you some fruit shake", she said.

She opened the fridge, saw an overripe tomato. "Can I use this?"

"Nope. That's already wrinkled," I said.

"What's wrinkled?", she asked.

"Wrinkled means it's not smooth. It has lines o? (pointing at the lines) It means it's already old."

Angela looked at me. "Oh, you're old."

Nahipuan Ako

2010-06-18T17:54:00.006+08:00

May confession ako...

Nahipuan ako (read: I was touched)

Sa inyong pagpapaunlak sa aking paanyaya...
Sa inyong pagbibigay ng oras gumawa ng post para sa isang munting kapihan...
Sa inyong pagtulong ma-discover ang KaffeRazzo...

Para sa inyo...

Dalawang masasarap na baso ng kape.

Maraming Salamat. (I sooo love the structure!)

photo credit: Tonton

angela-ism 2010.4

2010-06-04T12:24:00.003+08:00

Angela: Daddy, I wanna sing you a song...

Me: Yes, anak... you can sing me a song... (proud mode)

Angela: ... so you can give me money...

Me: Uh------- (***hold up mode)

Oxymoron

2010-05-31T14:17:00.001+08:00

Antagal-tagal ko nang sinisimulan ang post na ito pero hindi ko matapos-tapos. Andami nang dumaang sandaling pilit kong piniga ang aking mumunting utak pero wala akong mahita.

Hanggang kanina, nang maramdaman ko ang munting hapdi sa aking dibdib (naks!)

• “Wala na akong choice,” iyan ang sambit ng isang mabuting kaibigan sa akin noong minsang kami’y nag-usap. Kailan ba tayo nawawalan ng choice(s)? Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may ganitong kataga?Ang pagkakaintindi ko kasi, ang choices ay hindi nauubos. Siguro lang, minsan, sa takbo ng ating buhay, we opt for what is more convenient, at hindi yung choices na may matinding repercussions or consequences. At mas malamang din, na ang hindi nagagamit o hindi na-eexercise ay ang power to choose. Ang tindi nga ni God eh, yan ang isang power na ibinigay niya sa tin; ang power to choose. Kaya hindi ko lubos maiisip kung bakit ang isang tao ay “wala nang choice”.

• “Kailan ba tama ang mali?” O “Kailan mali ang tama?” – maraming beses ko na ring naitanong ito sa sarili ko. Sa mga ganoong pagkakataon, gusto ko lang i-rationalize ang mga kagaguhan ko, para masabi kong ako’y tama sa aking desisyon, at may katwirang baluktutin ang dati nang baluktot. Pero kahit anong sabihin, alam ko pa ring ang mali ay mali, at ang tama ay tama. Pilosopo lang talaga ako.

May mga iba pang oxymoron examples ang nakalutang sa ere. Eto lang ang madalas kong ma-encounter sa aking perfectly imperfect world.

TikTak

2010-05-29T14:12:00.000+08:00

Ngayon, ngayong mga sandaling ito, ginagawa ko ang sanaysay na ito habang ako’y naghihintay ng verdict mula kay Luna-Perez. Maya-maya pa, darating na siya, malalaman ko na rin kung ano ang kahihinatnan ng mga tests na pinaggagawa sa akin noong mga nakaraang araw.

Salimbayan ang mga tao sa aking harapan. Kanina lang, may dumaan na isang lolang may dalang rosaryo. Mukhang ipinagdadasal nya na maging maayos sana ang sasabihin ng kaniyang duktor. “Sana, di naman malala…” sa isip-isip siguro niya.

Sa kabilang upuan, may isang sanggol, mukhang wala pang 3 buwan, kanina pa iyak ng iyak. Natataranta na nga ang kaniyang tagapag-alaga, Nanay siguro niya, dahil ayaw tumahan ng bata.

Kakadaan lang nung isang ale, pugto ang mata. Di ko alam kung may sore eyes, o nakipaghiwalay sa kanyang asawa, o sinabihan ng duktor na mamamatay na siya at wala nang lunas ang kaniyang sakit.

Andami nila, pulu-pulutong kung dumagsa… pero heto pa rin ako… nakaupo at nagninilay nilay…

Ano kaya ang sasabihin ni Luna-Perez?
May operasyon bang gagawin?
Kaya ba ng gamot?
Ngingiti ba ako o sisimangot?

Spell QUIT

2010-05-27T11:52:00.002+08:00

I was checking my old things when I chanced upon the "tickler" I used when I was a neophyte joining a student org back in my University days. One of the assignments I had was to memorize this poem which speaks about not quitting. This poem, I must say, has made a significant impact on me, not just during the hell night, but even during my most ngarag days.

Sa sobra kong na-imbibe ang message ng poem, during the hell night, when my seniors would shout at me and ask, "Spell QUIT?", i would reply "N-E-V-E-R!!!" ha ha ha!!! Ambobo!

Here is the familiar poem I have grown to love...

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor's cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

Angela-ism 2010.3

2010-05-25T08:22:00.002+08:00

Mommy: Angela, time to sleep. Stop playing. And stop throwing those pillows.

Angela: But Mommy, these are "throw pillows".

Me: Zzzzzzzz

angela-ism 2010.2

2010-05-14T13:19:00.003+08:00

Recently, my In-Laws celebrated their wedding anniversary:

Angela: "Mom, what's a wedding anniversary?"

Mommy: "Hmmm, it's like a birthday... Like, the day when Daddy and I got married. So that we can make you."

Angela: "How did you make me?"

Me: "God made the earth and God made the sky... Ah... uhmmm..." (silence)

angela-ism

2010-05-12T13:04:00.002+08:00

Angela, my 4 year old, on Shrek (Forever After): Mom, can we watch Shrek?

Mommy: Do you have money?

Angela: I will treat you. I'll get money from my coin bank.

Yaya Ritchel interrupts: Sama ako!

Angela: No. I'll just buy you DVD DVD... thirty five pesos only.

Me: *exit frame laughing AGAIN.

post-mama's day

2010-05-11T13:29:00.002+08:00

wifey: "angela, let's call grandma, let's greet her HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY.

angela: "no, you call her. she's just my grandma. you greet her coz she's YOUR mother.

me: *exit frame laughing

Tanong lang...

2010-04-29T16:22:00.002+08:00

Kelan mo ba sasabihing "TAMA NA"?

Hanggang saan ba ang sinasabing "PAG-ASA"?

Hanggang kailan ba dapat magbigay?

Paano kung puro bigay, pero walang tanggap?

Paano kung ubos na?

Breakthrough

2010-04-19T13:42:00.005+08:00

This wasn't supposed to be my post, as I was bent on writing about something else. However, a message popped in my FB... from my beloved Eldest Sister. Wala lang, she just said she loves me so much.

I'm elated. I'm high. It just makes my day when someone I care for and love so very dearly, like my sister, would demonstrate and verbalize her affection towards me.

Most of us have no problem in showing our affection/feelings to our friends; but somehow, I really find it odd when it's the other way around when it comes to our family members.

Why is it, that we are too shy saying "I love you" to our parents and siblings? Bakit kaya nakakahiya? Could it be culture? Why is it that it's almost a taboo enunciating these three syllables? What could be that thing that keeping us from doing so?

Pero huwag ka, when it comes to other people, IT IS SO DAMN EASY!

The first time I said I love you to my parents... it was like something, labo! I had mixed emotions. It was different, but at the same time joyful. I also remember when I was about to tell my sister that I love her, I made sure I was already by the door, ready to leave... I said, "bye Ate, luv u!" (sabay sara ng pinto!) I still caught her reply... "HUH?!", as if telling me, "ano nangyari sa yo, may lagnat ka ba?" LOLS

I've done breakthrough deeds in my three decades plus plus of stay with Mother Earth, and this, I must say, has been one of the bigger ones... saying I love you. Kasi, nung nagawa ko na ito, I can easily say this, with no more eeewie feeling.

It's never too late saying these words to your family members. Wag nang mahiya. Say them now, for tomorrow might be too late.

Flight

2010-04-16T11:34:00.007+08:00

Pundaquit Festival

2010-04-12T14:19:00.006+08:00

For creative writing enthusiasts... you can check this out! FREE!!!!!!

Long live Pinoy Arts!

ayun eh

2010-04-11T14:30:00.008+08:00

Ang insidenteng kumabog sa mundo ng bloggers, at tumalo sa isyu ni Maria Venus Raj sa dami ng nakiusyoso ay ang premyadong Scoop of the Year na involved ang isang echuserang froglet at ang isa sa pitong duwende ni Snow White.

I would have been a witness to this very significant event. Kasi nga, kasama dapat ako noong Sabadong iyon na kung saan, magkikita-kita sana ang mga pinagpipitagan sa kagawapuhang mga bloggers. Isa ako sa nag-confirm, subalit last minute, dala na rin ng aking mga duties bilang pamilyadong pogi, di ko nagawa pang sumunod sa napagtakdaang miting de avance. In short, absent ang pogi.

Pero dahil nga tinuruan naman ako ng aking titser na si Miss Panagsagan, na ngayon ay Mrs. Abaca na, na kung sakaling male-late ako, mag-pa-adjust ng oras at mag-apologize sa kausap. Much more kung di makakating...

So hayun si Chingoy, ngarag na nagtatatawag kina Kikilabotz, Andy at Glentot, na nagpapaalam na di na ako makakarating. Di rin ako mahilig magtext, kaya talagang tawag lang ako... Yun ay dahil sa maliban sa SUN ko na line (na putol) eh may TM pa ako, at ako'y nagsu-subscribe sa ASTIGTAWAG20 na nagbibigay ng 15 mins free call sa lahat ng network. Ayan ang dahilan kaya mukhang sosyalin ang Pogi. O ha???

So hayun nga at tawag ako ke Kilabotz. Sabi ko, pakisabi na lang na di na ako makakasunod.

Tapos, heto naman ang text ni Glen sa SUN Line ko na PUTOL nga that time: "San ka na?"

At dahil nga may 15mins akong tawag sa kabilang cell, hayun at dun ko sya tinawagan. Di naman sumasagot.

Text na naman, "Andito na kami, san ka na?" Call ko ulit si Glen, ayaw namang sagutin. "Engot na ito ah", sa isip isip ko. Di ko na lang pinansin ang pang-gugudtime ni Glen, tutal alam ko namang nasabihan ko na si Kilabotz at iba pa.

Hanggang mabasa ko ang post na may nag-so-sorry....

Dahil itinuring kong mga kaibigan ang mga involved, tawag pa rin ako.

"hello, jepoy. Balita?"

"Ok lang," ani Jepoy.

"Mabuti naman at ok ka na. Sige, ingats lang brod."

"Salamat."

Then tawag naman ako kay Glen. Ayaw sagutin ng dwende! Putcha, tampo ito, or baka talagang masama ang loob.

Tawag ulit ako. Mag sumagot na!

"Hello, good evening! Sino ito?" sabi nung babae sa kabilang line.

"Huh? Ah, pede po ke Glen?", sabi ko naman.

"Bakit friend ka niya? Wala eh." Naririnig ko pa ang mga impit na tawa sa kabilang linya.

"Ah sige pakisabi na lang tumawag si Chingoy, salamat." Hayup na Glentot yun pati ako, pagti-tripan eh Mahal na Araw.

Naisip ko na lang i-text. "musta na pogi sana oks kau"

Kinabukasan, may nagtext back. "musta na pogi sana oks kau"

Putcha talaga, hanep ang trip!

Sinagot ko agad, "huy kumusta na, wag mo naman akong pagtripan! engot!"

"Kinsa man ni? Nganong nagtxt man ka? Nganung naa man k nmber nako?" sabi sa text.

Anak ng peste!!! Nakakapikon ka talaga! Here I am, sincerely checking on my friend, tas eto naman sya, mas pinili pang mambad-trip! Haist!

Nag text back ako. "I hope you're grinning now. Happy Easter. God bless"

Ayokong mapikon, sabi ko sa sarili ko. I'll just give him time.

Fast forward....

Nagbukas ako ng ym at hayun! Naabutan kong online ang dwende!

"oist!" sabi ko.

"oist" sagot ni Glen.

"tuloy pa ba tayo sa proj". May project kasi kaming niluluto.

"gusto nyo pa ba?" sabi nya.

Mukhang OK na si Glen. Salamat naman. Kasi ok na rin naman sila ng poging may-ari ng tumitirik na kotse.

"kung gusto nyo pa, ok din ako." "tsaka glen, wag mo nang uulitin ang pang-gugudtime mo sa akin ha?" sabi ko.

"Anong gudtym?"

"asus! yung pinapasagot mong kaibigan mong babaeng bisaya?"

"huh? di ka naman tumatawag ah... eto number ko 0906 3647XXX"

Chinek ko ang SUN phone ko. Tama naman...

Chinek ko TM phone ko. Bumagsak ang ngala-ngala ko...

Eto number nya sa phonebuk: 0909 3647XXX.

Kaya pala.

Tataya ka ba?

2010-04-05T15:09:00.007+08:00

Nung una kong nakita ang billboard ni Pepito Manaloto sa EDSA, ako'y napangiti ng kakaunti lamang naman.

Malamang, isa itong sitcom na tungkol sa isang taong mahilig tumaya sa lotto na mananalo ng pagkalaki-laking pera tapos yun ang magiging hadlang sa kaniyang pagkakaroon ng maraming problema.

Tama ako.

GMA-7 is marketing this as "the first ever reality-sitcom". Marahil ito ay dahil karamihan sa ating mga Pinoy ay umaasang ang tanging paraan na lamang para umasenso ay tumaya sa lotto at hintayin ang kapalarang maging mabait para sa atin.
But don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Lotto bettors; I AM ACTUALLY ONE OF THEM. Ang mangarap at umasa na magiging maunlad at mabuti ang ating kabuhayan ay karapatan nating lahat; at kung ang isang paraan nito ay ang pagtaya (at PAGTAMA!) sa Lotto ay isang pagpapala.

Hindi lang naman Lotto ang tinatayaan ng isang tao; maraming bagay pa. Nariyan ang pagtaya sa relasyon; pag-ibig man ito o pagnanasa. Nariyan ang pagtaya sa pagkakaibigan; o negosyo; o trabaho, o kahit ano pa mang bagay na magbibigay sa atin ng bagong antas o lebel ng satisfaction.

Tumataya tayo kasi gusto nating manalo. Tumataya tayo kasi 'yung thrill ng pagsali ay isang bagay na na-eenjoy natin. Tumataya tayo kasi gusto nating baguhin ang meron na tayo, o dili kaya'y dagdagan ang anumang nasa atin na. Tumataya tayo kasi may hinahanap tayo...

A great friend's message best describes my point...

"We are all chasing something; more money... more love. Sometimes we go looking for more and wind up with less. Sometimes, we take a chance for the rush of winning; sometimes for love. But we cannot have our dreams without laying something on the line. The key is not to risk what we cannot afford to lose."

The question is: "What are we willing to lay on the line?"

What's Up

2010-03-22T10:03:00.008+08:00

Pangalawa kong boss si Ma’am Mila o Manang Mila sa ibang ka-office mates ko; habang kami na nasa team niya ay nasanay na Tita Mila ang itawag sa kaniya. Pareho kasi kaming taga-Luzon na na-assign sa dulong panig ng Pilipinas, kasama ang isa pang teammate kong si Rose, at dahil sa wala naman kaming trabaho sa weekends, kaming tatlo ang naging madalas na mag-bonding. Hiwalay na sa asawa si Tita Mila, at dahil walang kasiguraduhan kung hanggang kailan ang assignment niya dun sa probinsyang pinagtapunan sa amin, pinili niyang i-relocate na lang dun ang kaniyang apat na mga anak.

Sa madaling salita, itinuring namin ang isa't isang pamilya. Naging tutor ako paminsan minsan nila Isabel, na nuo’y kinse anyos pa lamang; si Richard, 13; si Unding, 10; at si Jerome, 6. Kaming dalawa ni Rose ang naging long lost Tito at Tita nila sa mga araw na iyon.

Naging napakabuti sa akin ng pamilyang iyon, lalo na ni Tita Mila. At least, may napupuntahan kami ni Rose tuwing Sabado, bukod sa libre na ang lunch namin, nabawasan pa ang lungkot ko sa aking pagkawalay sa pamilya. First job ko rin kasi, at first time kong malayo ako sa aking Nanay at Tatay.

After two years na maging manager ko si Tita Mila, nagkaroon ng opening sa head office para sa isang posisyong matagal ko nang gustong i-handle. Bilang manager, she encouraged me to signify my intention to apply for the said post. I never realized na dalawa pala kaming sabay na mapo-promote dahil she was chosen to lead the bigger division sa office namin. Sa madaling salita, Head Office guys na kami!

Pagkaraan ng mahaba-haba ring panahon...

Things went well in our respective careers. Patuloy na namayagpag si Tita Mila sa kaniyang pagiging Regional Sales Manager, habang ako nama’y lumipat na ng ibang kumpanyang mapagtatrabahuhan. Naging madalang na ang aming komunikasyon, pati na rin ako sa kaniyang mga anak.

Isang mag-uumaga, nagising ako sa isang panaginip: iniimbitahan ako ni Isabel sa kanila. Sabi niya, “Sige na Tito, punta ka na dito.”

Nagpa-inin na lang ako sa kama nun nang tamang-tama namang may nag-text. Di ko kilala number, mukhang forwarded message. Binasa ko. Bagamat, di ko na tanda verbatim ang mensaheng iyon, sa pagkakaalaala ko’y tumutungkol iyon sa pasasalamat sa isang pagkakaibigan.

“Huh, ano ba ito?” sa isip isip ko, “ang aga-aga, missent message pa!”, sabay delete ng mensahe.

May isa pang text na pumasok.

Gumapang ang kilabot sa katawan ko.

“Mila San Diego passed away last night. Her remains at Arlington Funeral Parlor, Araneta Ave. QC. Please pass."

Litong-lito ako. Iyong message na kaka-delete ko lang, sa dulo ng mensaheng iyon ay ang pangalang.... MILA.

*bakit What's Up?... ito kasi ang peborit kantahin ni Tita Mila sa videoke.

"and so I wake up in the morning and I step outside
and I take adeep breath and I get real high
and I scream at the top of my lungs
What's goin' on?
and I say hey yey yey yehey...."

Bakit Nga Kaya Ganun?

2010-03-13T10:48:00.007+08:00

"Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

Eto yung tumatak na linya sa akin sa panonood ko ng "Tabing Ilog". Tatlong taon ko ring naging barkada sina Eds, Badong, George, Rovic, Fonzy, Anne at James. Noong una, medyo na-bad trip pa ako sa ABS kasi obvious namang Über inspired ito ng Dawson's Creek; a move I disliked kasi walang originality.

Pero habang tumatagal, unti-unti kong sinubaybayan at tuluyan ko nang na-absorb ang kwento ng magkakabarkadang ito ng bunggang-bungga, at naging regular habit ko na ang maging miron sa kanilang mga buhay-buhay.

Nakakatuwa ang programang ito kasi napaka-realistic at tugmang tugma sa pinagdadaanan ng mga adolescents. Maliban sa magandang pagganap ng mga bagets, ay magandang rin ang location.

Marami akong eksenang naalala pero one of the best scenes I can recall ay nung minsa'y nag-uusap ang mga babaeng bida; nung nagpapayo si Georgina (Jodie) sa kanyang mga barkada.

The scene was about comforting someone, and George spoke something like this:

"Pag may isang kaibigang lumapit sa iyo at humingi ng sagot sa kaniyang tanong, ang isagot mo lang ay "Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

"Bakit kaya mahirap mabuhay?"
Sagutin mo, "Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

"Bakit kaya may mga taong sakim?"
Sagutin mo, "Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

"Bakit ang sama nya? Bakit nya ako nasaktan ng ganito?"
Sagutin mo, "Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

"Wala ka mang masabing may sense, lumalabas ka pa ring kaibigang nakikinig at nakikisimpatya sa kanya."

Interesting. Ang galing ng nakaisip nito. Pag talagang gustong-gusto mong makatulong pero wala ka nang masabi pa sa mga nag-eemote mong kaberks, bagay na bagay ang linyang ito. Pag pigang piga na ang isip mo sa kakasagot ng mga "Bakit" nya, eto na ang sagot!

"Bakit nga kaya ganun?"

Magmula noon, madalas kong na itong gamitin sa mga sandaling blangko na ang isip ko para magbigay pa ng payo. Yun bang andiyan lang ako para makinig, kahit walang kakwenta-kwenta na ang pinag-uusapan namin; just to be there to listen, at ipadama ang presensya ko bilang katoto, iyon naman ang mahalaga.

Sabi nga nila, MINSAN, just the thought of us being there for our friends, kahit malayo pa tayo, makes their load much lighter.

Wings

2010-03-09T09:30:00.004+08:00

It must have been cold there in my shadow
To never have sunlight on your face
You were content to let me shine, that's your way
You always walked a step behind...

I was on my way to work when I heard this song being played on the radio. Stuck in traffic, I found myself singing this mushy song with Bette Midler. Then I realized how the lyrics were slowly penetrating the depths of my spirit. Faces and names of people I loved and continue to love came flashing on my mind.

So I was the one with all the glory
While you were the one with all the strain
A beautiful face without a name for so long
A beautiful smile to hide the pain...

My Mom

I already posted about my Nanay click here. She is and will forever be an inspiration.

OJ

My barkada who have boosted my spirits to soar higher.

Greg, Zara & Donald

My best friends outside my Barkada... two of them migrated already, the other one plans to migrate (sigh). How can I let go of good people like them? They were so selfless they didn't mind playing stupid buffoons just to cheer me up. How can I not let go? I only want them to be happy and find their bliss.

Did you ever know that you're My Hero?
You're everything I would like to be
I can fly higher than an eagle
For you are the wind beneath my wings

My Wife and Kid

"You just don't know how you two bring out the best in me. Despite of and in spite of, your support have always been my weapon. Just the thought of you being there for me makes me say to myself... I am so proud to have you."

For you are the wind beneath my wings

(dis)Appointment

2010-03-08T12:00:00.005+08:00

I just received the news this morning. The project that I have been dreaming of will no longer push through.

I am still absorbing it.... hasn't sunk in yet. For two years, I have been hoping... maybe, expecting is a better term. But sadly, things like these happen; they do not go as planned.

I am disappointed.

This too, shall pass...

sa init

2010-03-05T12:00:00.001+08:00

kalabisan na ba
o kasalanan na?
ang maghangad
ng kaunti pa?

sa init
na nararamdaman
kulang ang minsan
gusto mang pigilan

ang saya-saya ko
sa bawat pagniniig
para akong idinuduyan
sa iyong titig

ang kulay mo
sa aking paningin
ganyan ka ba talaga
sa isang pusong naninimdim?

sige na nga
kahit bawal ika'y aking babalikan
hintayin mo ako
para sa ikapito ko
ngayong lingo....

picture courtesy of: Mr. Google... site: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_F7YfHQ_TwH0/SHR5w-I-Y_I/AAAAAAAAAIo/I4viHiW8jnU/s400/HALOHALO500.jpg

My Birthday Post

2010-03-01T08:53:00.001+08:00

This is my birthday post. Bow. :)

Music and Me

2010-02-25T14:41:00.004+08:00

My love for music will probably be one of the last two things I will outgrow (the second one being my love for food, LOL). I have been a music lover since I can ever remember. I would collect “Songhits” (nyahahahaha, buking edad!) since I was in grade school. I competed in probably 80% of all songfests in our town. I joined singing contests in my elementary, high school and college days (whether I lost or won is another story, hahaha). I never enrolled, though, in any music school; never had “formal” music education; it’s basically, uhm, (ehem) talent! 

Music must really run in our lineage... ika nga ni Loveliness, “It runs to the blood”. I don’t know anyone in our very big family who doesn’t know how to sing or dance or play instrument. Pag di marunong, outcast! hehehe

On my end, I can still remember how I had my “first recording”. My cousins were tinkering with our newly-bought AIWA cassette player (o, ha?) when they asked me to sing. I distinctly remember my version of “Mahiwaga” ... mahiwaga ang buhay ng tao... ang bukas ay di natin pi’O.. Yep, that was how I sang the song. I was at least 3 years old then.

I posted before, that on my first singing contest, I sang “You Light Up My Life”. My prize, tadaaaaan! Choc-nut! I had 2 packs of Choc-nut, which was then wrapped with foil, very similar to the palara. I had them raffled off among my kalaro; singko kada numero... ang tawag namin dun, “ripa”. Ako rin ang nanalo hahahaha!!!

Come elementary, like Glentot, I was also a part of the Drum and Bugle Corps. Just like Glentot, I joined because all my friends were part of the DBC, aside from being part of the “honor” of performing for the Superintendent and the Parish Priest, hahaha... so pathetic! I was playing the xylophone, then snare, the triangle (nyaahhh!!), then finally the bass where I stayed ‘til I graduated.

During high school, I would almost always become the official entry of my section to every Inter-section, Inter-level, and all the Inter blah blah blah. And almost always, I would place (ehem...) second.... (and almost always, there were two of us competing, hahahaha!) Nakakahiya!!!

College... well, I thought my career as a professional competitor (ano daw o?? Hahaha!) would come to an end. Parang nagsimula pa lang ata, nyehehe... I joined at least two singing contests, where I placed (ehem...) nada! Hahaha, asa pa. But in fairness, finalist ako. Out of 106 who auditioned, lima kaming pumasok sa finals...hmmm!

Outside school, I would join small contests like “Name That Tune” in Harrison Plaza (hahaha!!!), join choral groups inside and outside the church, and of course jam with family and friends. Jamming includes going to videoke bars. One time, my close friends and I went to Pharaoh (hmmm..) where we sang Lead Me Lord, hahahaha!!!

My point... I do my best to keep in touch with my essence (read: TRY).

I know that music is a big part of me. It is one of the few things that give me joy and inner peace. I can honestly say that Chingoy will never be Chingoy if music will be taken out of him. Music is chingoy, and Chingoy is music.

At times, most of us are too busy minding about lots of things. We lose contact to what we truly are, and what gives us the peace and joy.

Sometimes, we are too busy making others happy, and in so doing, we are draining ourselves.

Most of the time, we outgrow our simple selves because of the norms, others’ expectations and the rules that we ourselves CHOOSE to govern our true being and in the end masking us; layer after layer... until we don’t know ourselves anymore...

BLESSING

2010-02-23T18:19:00.004+08:00

I was once told that one of the best ways for me to receive blessings is to bless others; and these not only involve blessing PEOPLE... but also blessing the things I DO, I USE etc... In short, bless EVERYTHING. Actually, I find it easy to bless everything and everyone EXCEPT those who have hurt me.

It is so easy to say “God bless you!” or “May the Good Lord continue to bless you and your family” if that person has not sucked up my energy, has not treated me like shit, or has not hurt me and my Family. It is even easier to say “May the Universe fill you up with greater things” to people who I do not know personally, but have been at least cordial in my transactions with them. However, as much as I would want to be the saint that I long to be, the hurt will make it difficult for me to even THINK or WISH positive things for these people. That’s how vengeful I was; especially if the person who hurt me is (was) a friend.

Vengeance...

Not so long ago, a really close friend hurt me (or so I thought, hurt me); not being "confrontational", I wrote that person a letter; a letter full of curses, literally, for that person and that person’s family. Still not satisfied, I went as far as seeking the help of a mangkukulam so that I could get even.

Scary....

I thought I was just being a "human"... but somehow, somewhere along the way, I was the one suffering the most.

My anger took toll on me. I had sleepless nights. I needed someone to talk to, but I was far from home. My thoughts were all about how I could get even. THIS WAS THE WORST EPISODE OF MY LIFE.

I never liked what was happening. My very essence was almost lost. My heart was full of hatred. I realized this was so un-me.

Because I know deep inside me...

I am forgiving.

I am a loving person.

I know deep inside me that at the end of all these, if I let go, the best blessing that I will get will be the peace of mind and heart I deserved.

Then I surrendered...

And I know, I was blessed...

I still am...

All About Me

2010-01-29T08:00:00.004+08:00

Ilang araw na lang, big day ko na! Naisip kong mag-share ng ilang mga facts about yours truly.

Flat-footed ako. Noong bata pa ako, at hanggang ngayon, lagi akong nadarapa, nahuhulog sa hagdan, natatalisod at kung anu-ano pang may kaugnayan sa paa...
Meron akong "(blind) third eye". Di ako madalas makakita, pero ang lakas kong makaramdam kung ang isang lugar ay haunted. Minsan lang ako nakakita ng multo, ayoko nang maulit... booooo!!!
Mahilig akong magsabaw ng kape pag ang ulam ay tuyo, danggit o biya. Sarap!
Masarap ang version ko ng kaldereta.
Makakalimutin ako. Ina-attribute ko ito dahil sa appendectomy nung 2nd year HS ako.
Food/Drink I can live WITHOUT: cake (maliban sa brazo), softdrink, chesa (yuck!), ice cream
Food/Drink I CAN'T live without: siopao, brazo de mercedes (Goldilocks), adobo (manamis-namis), Oishi Wild Strawberry Iced Tea, Ube Hopia ng Eng bee tin
Bunso ako.
Size 10 1/2 paa ko.
I was qualified to compete sa NSSPC nung HS, kaso di ako pinayagan ng school ko.
Naging finalist ako sa isang malaking Singing Contest. Di ko na rin mabilang kung ilang songfest ang nasalihan ko.
My first winning song sa isang Singing Contest: YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE (yaiks!)
Kamuntik nang masunog ang paa ko nung minsang magpa-foot spa ako. Sira pala ang equipment na pinagbabaran ng paa ko. Napunta tuloy ako sa ER ng hospital sa halip na ma-relax...
Nakahiligan kong mag-collect ng sumbrero. I had over 20 caps, until na-realize kong ninenenok na isa-isa ng kung sinu-sino... hehehe
Dami akong kuto nung bata ako. Minsan nagkakamot lang, naglalaglagan na nyaahhhh!!!
I have one work ready for publication, kaso na-hold nung publisher. Ewan ko lang kung mapa-publish pa yun.
Basted ako sa first love ko.
Ipinanganak ako sa leap year. Muntik na naging February 29, buti na lang puro labor lang si Mother... I was born March 1, 4 am.
I cannot swim kung alam kong mas mataas ang tubig kesa sa akin. I'm 5'8 1/2. Ilang beses na akong muntik nang malunod.
I'm an art lover. I love going to the mall para bumisita sa mga art galleries. I collected some paintings kaso kasamang natupok nung nasunog bahay namin. Di na ako nagcollect ulit.
I choose briefs over boxers.
Di pa ako nagkaka-sore eyes. Twice naman akong binulutong tubig!
Two of my most favorite songs: IF (by Bread) and IT MIGHT BE YOU (by Stephen Bishop)
My pet peeve: Putting words into my mouth.
Napagkamalan akong si Gary V. minsan sa aking buhay... ha ha ha!!!
Dream places ko: Egypt (to see the Great Pyramid), Italy (Tuscany), Greece (all about Her), Alaska (to witness aurora borealis), Africa (Safari), AND BATANES AND NORTHERN CAGAYAN sa Philippines...
Minsan, nakita ko ang kaibigan kong may hawak na akala ko'y mani. Sa pag-aakala kong inaalok ako (at sa kasibaan ko), kumuha ako agad sabay subo. Yun pala ay buto ng sampalok na nasipsip na niya... Nyaaaaa, kadiri!!!!
Bespren kami ng kulambo. Mahilig kong ikuskos ang mga paa ko sa roughness ng kulambo. Nag-break lang kami nung nag-asawa na ako. I miss my kulambo... :(
Sobra akong pasmado. Dahil hyper ang aking mga sweat glands, nasanay ako na laging basa ang aking mga kamay na, kapag naramdaman kong tuyo ang mga ito, babasain ko na... same sa mga paa ko.
Nakakita na ako ng taong napo-possessed, really. Babae pero boses lalaki, at nakatitig sa akin. Hanggang ngayon, kinikilabutan pa rin ako pag naaalala ko ang experience kong iyon.

Ayo ayo!!!

RANT 2010.1

2010-01-16T14:37:00.005+08:00

Di ko naging ugali ang maglabas ng sama ng loob nang ganun-ganun na lang... Ang prinsipyo ko kasi, it's either tanggapin ko ang isang bagay ng buong buo or wag na lang, para walang problema.

Pero pag minsan, pag dumating sa isang tao ang pikon, no... make it sobrang pagkapikon, hindi ko mapigilang ilabas ang natatago kong sungay.

Bli-nes ako ni Bro ng negosyo. Kahit maliit ito, akin naman. Wala akong boss... ako ang boss... ako ang dumidiskarte... ako ang galamay ni Bro para kahit papaano'y bigyan ng isang disenteng pagkakakitaan ang ilang tauhan, nang sa gayo'y may maiuwi naman silang konting pagkain at may maipambili ng load man lang. I have at least 6 personnel who, I truly believe, are so worthy of every centavo I pay them.

Ang kaso, hindi naman lahat ng panahon, ganun kalaki ang kita. May pagkakataong malaki, may tama lang, may talo pag talagang walang-wala. Last year was not so great year. Maraming nagyari pero tapos na eh... Pero, dahil may mga taong sa tingin ko'y worth keeping, ay susugalan ko pa kasi umaasa sila sa akin. Given na yun.

Eto na. Enero na. Bayaran na naman ng income tax, AT renewal na ng Mayor's Permit (Business Permit).

Ang nakaka-badtrip, ay yung pagpila sa pagkatagal-tagal sa City Hall at padagdag nang padagdag ang mga hinayupak na requirements ng hinayupak na Mayor yan! (matalo sana ang anak mo, gago ka!)

Maliban sa Barangay Clearance, na nagtaas din ng fee (from 500 naging 1,200, peste ka Kap, uuhurin ka rin t@#$*&mo!), yung Cedula (na hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin klaro kung ano ang silbi, from 150 ngayon ay 500 na!!! Aaaaaahhhh!!!!

Alam mo Mayor, ok sana kung maganda ng takbo ng red tape sa opis mo... hayup na red tape na yan, kulay bulok na regla na, hindi pa umaandar! Naka-ilang sandwich na ako sa gutom, ilang mineral water na, dumoble na ang dami ng puting buhok ko, di pa ako matapos-tapos!

At si City Treasurer! Feeling nya sya ang star for all seasons kasi sya ang nag-aaprub ng discount kung gusto mong humirit na tapyasan ang bayarin sa permit! Naku!!!!! Pede naman palang magtapyas, bakit kelangan pang umakyat sa kanya para manikluhod sa kanyang talampakan at magmakaawa? Kami na nga ang nagbabayad, kami pa ang pinahihirapan? Kung sino pa ang nagpapaka-masunuring Pinoy, kami pa ang pinagdudusa? Leche!

Bakit hindi gayahin yung isang City diyan sa kabilang ibayo na pagpila mo, uupo ka na lang sa waiting area at voila! ayan na ang Permit mo!

Kayo diyan sa Quezon City Hall, tubuan na sana ng puno ng balite ang puwet nyo, mga balasubas!!!

Taught Thoughts

2010-01-04T20:42:00.003+08:00

I saw this posted on the wall of my daughter's classroom; I just had to have a copy and share...

Timeless indeed...

Lincoln’s Letter to his Son’s Teacher

He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader…
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,

Steer him away from envy,
if you can,
teach him the secret of
quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that
the bullies are the easiest to lick…
Teach him, if you can,
the wonder of books…
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat…
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong…
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son
the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the band wagon…
Teach him to listen to all men…
but teach him also to filter
all he hears on a screen of truth,
and take only the good
that comes through.

Teach him if you can,
how to laugh when he is sad…
Teach him there is no shame in tears,
Teach him to scoff at cynics
and to beware of too much sweetness…
Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he’s right.
Treat him gently,
but do not cuddle him,
because only the test
of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage
to be impatient…
let him have the patience to be brave.
Teach him always
to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will have
sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do…
He is such a fine little fellow,
my son!

~ Abraham Lincoln

Lincoln's letter to his son's teacher - Soliloquies - Source

Sa Aking Guro

2010-01-02T13:27:00.006+08:00