Paper Soap

January 25, 2011

I made someone cry this evening. She was my daughter, Angela.
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Almost every night, Angela would be visited by her best friend/neighbour Samantha, and they would play around the house.

Earlier this evening, they saw these paper soaps. They immediately went inside our room, bringing these with them, along with a bucket full of water.

I then noticed the wet floor, with the soaps all scattered all over. The floor was a big mess.

I instantly called their attention. With a raised voice, I asked them what they were doing with the soap and water in the room.

“It’s Angela, Tito. She scattered the soap”, answered Samantha. Knowing that I would scold Angela anytime and I didn’t want Sam to see my anger, I asked Sam to go back to their house.

After Sam left, I immediately let out my anger. “Angela! What are you doing? Di yan laruan! Binasa mo pa ang higaan!,” I yelled at her.
“Lugar ko yang binasa mo! Diyan ka matutulog sa basang parte mamaya!” I was fuming mad.

She cannot speak. She knew I was very angry.

“Punasan mo yan, linisin mo yan!” I was yelling to a five year old child.
She tried to yell to vent out her frustration. When she was about to shout, I interrupted her.

“Sumigaw ka ngayon, sumigaw ka ngayon na!”

She cannot speak anymore.

With her hanky on her little left hand, she bowed down. She tried wiping the floor. With her right hand, she started picking up the scattered paper soaps.

She was crying.

On seeing this, I just realized what I did was wrong! I ran towards her, I embraced her right away. It was a hug of apology. I was so sorry for what I did.

When I hugged her, she even sobbed some more. She was saying “I’m sorry Daddy, I will not do it again.... I’m so sorry”, and she sobbed and it tore my heart.
I cannot even remember if I said “I’m sorry” to Angela. I just hugged her tight.

After the incident, we went to bed.
I could not go to sleep.
I just felt so guilty of what I did to my daughter.

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I made someone cry this evening.
I made my Angela cry.

And then I felt the tears were flowing down my cheeks.
I, too, was crying.